I so appreciate your column and the honesty and sincerity of you documenting this process within yourself and society at large. I consistently have this same dilemma with my paintings, a new genre for me. I complete the work, I would like recognition, Im afraid of recognition. I only know to move forward with the support of my family and friends to have courage and not hide, as you are doing so bravely.
It does take so much courage to share our art—I'm glad you have a good support system for that! As for the recognition piece... it sure is an interesting push/pull, isn't it? I think part of what was making it extra hard for me was that I felt like I shouldn't care about recognition at all, so just accepting that I wanted it was helpful in itself. Dealing with recognition/praise when it comes is a whole other ballgame though ;)
Oh man, the being afraid of recognition and uncomfortable with praise...I hope you write about that someday! I have a lot of inner analysis to do on those fronts, for sure! So much push/pull...I want to know that I've done a good job, but not so good that I'm put on the spot for it or feel pressure to keep it up all the time. Plus a lifetime of trying not to stick out/or take up too much space... <sigh> A LOT to unpack!
Decades ago I stood facing the headstone of my (now ex) father in law. It was carved with the requisite beginning and ending dates and his highest military rank. There was no mention of any of his other life achievements - father, husband, friend. Truth be told, I believe that he failed miserably at each of those former titles. While he may have achieved an impressive military rank, I couldn’t help but see a sadness in the lack of the markers that make one a good person, an asset to humanity, someone who gives and accepts love freely. It was then that I started this exercise for me during periods of self doubt - what would I like to see on my gravestone? If it reads she was a good mother and a good friend, my spirit will soar.
Ooh I love that! What a great (though rather tragic) example of how high rank is often attained at the expense of other, more meaningful traits that make someone an asset to humanity. Your exercise is such a good way to keep the perspective on what really matters. (And it must be working bc you're definitely doing a fantastic job on that front!)
Oh boy, you are NOT alone in these thoughts and feelings. The greatest advice I’ve ever received came from my husband as I was freaking out about work while taking care of a grieving family, “you are trying to swim up steam when you should be proud of yourself for even treading water right now” The greatest act of rebellion to believe that to exist is our greatest gift and purpose. I am so proud of you for working so hard to get to this place of peace.
Ah, love this! It can be so liberating (and, yes, rebellious!) to really take to heart that just existing is enough. Sometimes treading water is all we can do, and that's okay. Thanks so much for sharing this fantastic advice 💕
I so appreciate your column and the honesty and sincerity of you documenting this process within yourself and society at large. I consistently have this same dilemma with my paintings, a new genre for me. I complete the work, I would like recognition, Im afraid of recognition. I only know to move forward with the support of my family and friends to have courage and not hide, as you are doing so bravely.
It does take so much courage to share our art—I'm glad you have a good support system for that! As for the recognition piece... it sure is an interesting push/pull, isn't it? I think part of what was making it extra hard for me was that I felt like I shouldn't care about recognition at all, so just accepting that I wanted it was helpful in itself. Dealing with recognition/praise when it comes is a whole other ballgame though ;)
Oh man, the being afraid of recognition and uncomfortable with praise...I hope you write about that someday! I have a lot of inner analysis to do on those fronts, for sure! So much push/pull...I want to know that I've done a good job, but not so good that I'm put on the spot for it or feel pressure to keep it up all the time. Plus a lifetime of trying not to stick out/or take up too much space... <sigh> A LOT to unpack!
Yes, so much to unpack for sure! There’s a lot more to cover on this particular topic so I’m sure I will be circling back to it in the future ☺️
Decades ago I stood facing the headstone of my (now ex) father in law. It was carved with the requisite beginning and ending dates and his highest military rank. There was no mention of any of his other life achievements - father, husband, friend. Truth be told, I believe that he failed miserably at each of those former titles. While he may have achieved an impressive military rank, I couldn’t help but see a sadness in the lack of the markers that make one a good person, an asset to humanity, someone who gives and accepts love freely. It was then that I started this exercise for me during periods of self doubt - what would I like to see on my gravestone? If it reads she was a good mother and a good friend, my spirit will soar.
Thanks for sharing your “insides” Alanna. ♥️
Ooh I love that! What a great (though rather tragic) example of how high rank is often attained at the expense of other, more meaningful traits that make someone an asset to humanity. Your exercise is such a good way to keep the perspective on what really matters. (And it must be working bc you're definitely doing a fantastic job on that front!)
Oh boy, you are NOT alone in these thoughts and feelings. The greatest advice I’ve ever received came from my husband as I was freaking out about work while taking care of a grieving family, “you are trying to swim up steam when you should be proud of yourself for even treading water right now” The greatest act of rebellion to believe that to exist is our greatest gift and purpose. I am so proud of you for working so hard to get to this place of peace.
Ah, love this! It can be so liberating (and, yes, rebellious!) to really take to heart that just existing is enough. Sometimes treading water is all we can do, and that's okay. Thanks so much for sharing this fantastic advice 💕