I just froze up this week after a talk on colic in horses. Put on the spot to recall what I had just learned, I stuttered, searched my mind frantically, eked out a few (were they correct?) answers, all the while looking like a total idiot. At least, that’s what I think I looked like. 🫣♥️
Yup, sounds familiar! 😰 I often wonder if we judge our panicked answers way more harshly than others around us do. (If only I could get my inner critic fully on board with that point of view!) Still, I suppose there is some comfort to be found in knowing that we aren't alone in having these experiences. 💗
This is eye-opening. I’d never heard of the window of tolerance, but now I know what happens to me when I ask a question in certain professional settings. Depending on the meeting attendees, I sometimes experience a hypo response where I can’t hear the response to my own question because I’m worried how others perceive my question. Thanks for your vulnerability and insights!
So glad you found this helpful! Your comment made me think about how someone's window of tolerance might shrink or expand depending on who else is present. Everything might be totally fine with a certain group of people, but throw in even one person who activates you for whatever reason, and everything changes. Always easier to work with something when you're aware of it, though, so hopefully this framework will bring some illumination to future situations. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Kerry! 💖
Fellow polyvagal theory fangirl over here!! I am always drawn to frameworks like this that make intuitive sense, help normalize experiences that a lot of us have so much shame about, and can easily be applied to real-life situations. I'll geek out about it anytime I get the chance. Thank you for your kind words! 🥰
Very interesting. As always.
I just froze up this week after a talk on colic in horses. Put on the spot to recall what I had just learned, I stuttered, searched my mind frantically, eked out a few (were they correct?) answers, all the while looking like a total idiot. At least, that’s what I think I looked like. 🫣♥️
Yup, sounds familiar! 😰 I often wonder if we judge our panicked answers way more harshly than others around us do. (If only I could get my inner critic fully on board with that point of view!) Still, I suppose there is some comfort to be found in knowing that we aren't alone in having these experiences. 💗
This is eye-opening. I’d never heard of the window of tolerance, but now I know what happens to me when I ask a question in certain professional settings. Depending on the meeting attendees, I sometimes experience a hypo response where I can’t hear the response to my own question because I’m worried how others perceive my question. Thanks for your vulnerability and insights!
So glad you found this helpful! Your comment made me think about how someone's window of tolerance might shrink or expand depending on who else is present. Everything might be totally fine with a certain group of people, but throw in even one person who activates you for whatever reason, and everything changes. Always easier to work with something when you're aware of it, though, so hopefully this framework will bring some illumination to future situations. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Kerry! 💖
I am a TOTAL NERD for polyvagal theory! Yes window of tolerance 👏🏼 I see so much self love and wisdom here 💞
Fellow polyvagal theory fangirl over here!! I am always drawn to frameworks like this that make intuitive sense, help normalize experiences that a lot of us have so much shame about, and can easily be applied to real-life situations. I'll geek out about it anytime I get the chance. Thank you for your kind words! 🥰